Have you ever been just trucking along, just living your life… and then, the rug gets pulled out from under you?
In a matter of minutes, your whole world changes and nothing will be the same again.
It happened to me.
I’m going to share this very real, very personal story without getting into too many of the details.
It was a Friday evening in 2021. My husband and I were having a typical supper at home. Things had been a little strained between us but nothing I thought was outside of the normal marital ups and downs.
He seemed “off” and I asked if everything was okay.
That’s when he dropped the bomb…
I think I want a divorce.”
What?!?!! I was stunned.
Did he just say what I think he said?
Never in a million years did I expect to hear those words come out of his mouth.
20 minutes later, he was gone. He had packed a bag and left. Out of the clear blue sky, he dropped a bomb and then walked out.
It was the worst feeling ever… to think your marriage and life is one way… and then find out it isn’t.
Now the ‘old me’ (from prior to my healing journey) would have used my anger and responded with a big “f*ck you.” I would have packed my stuff and left. I would have been done.
…But I wasn’t the ‘old me’ anymore. The ‘new me’ was trying to understand what was going on… trying to figure out how we got here.
Thus began the uncomfortable “let’s see if we can salvage this marriage” phase.
Up until this point, I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him.
As my future became uncertain, it became a full-time job making sure I didn’t let my mind go down any dangerous rabbit holes.
It wasn’t easy… I was constantly coaching myself and redirecting my thoughts…
I would catch myself thinking, “How could he do this to me?”
And I would have to consciously choose a better thought like, “Everything will work out for the best.”
And switching “I can’t believe he doesn’t want to be with me.” to “No matter what happens, I’m going to be okay.”
And from, “I don’t want this, I don’t want to start over.” to “I deserve better.”
Our human brains like what is familiar; to know what to expect. I had to prepare myself for an unknown future and any possible outcome. I had to be okay with not knowing what that looked like.
Months went by… it had become very clear that neither of us were happy and we were no longer compatible. It was time to separate and I was at peace with the effort I had put into trying to save the marriage.
I moved back to my home state of Iowa to be near my granddaughter. I downsized from a 3,000 sq. ft. home to an apartment.
My life changed dramatically.
I went through all the stages of grief.
It was difficult, the worst time in my life…
I knew this process was an opportunity to make room for something new… something better… but knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
For months, I tried to navigate through it alone.
Then, I hit a wall.
When we move through a major life transition, it brings up deep seeded beliefs and emotions that need to be healed.
Working with trusted practitioners, I spent the next few months focused on taking care of me and focused on healing.
I had several Rapid Transformational Therapy sessions to heal the emotional wounds and to empower my thinking to align with the new life I needed to create.
When our comfort zone is stretched (whether we choose it or not), we are challenging our conscious way of thinking and our subconscious beliefs. Working at the subconscious level can make any transition easier.
About six weeks into my healing, I could feel myself coming back to life… much like coming back from my near-death experience 20 years earlier. (If you missed that story, you can read it HERE.)
The most difficult part of this major life transition was letting go of what I thought my life was going to look like…
So I could redefine my future. And start loving life again.
The process of letting go of the old expectations and creating new goals and dreams WAS challenging, but ultimately rewarding.
Starting over was scary as hell but now, I love my life and I’m excited for the future.
I’m happier and more content than I’ve ever been.
Moving through major transitions in life can be extremely difficult. Without the proper support, it can leave you stuck and holding onto the idea of what was or what you thought it should be.
Are you struggling with your future and where you want to go?
Schedule your free ‘Redefine Your Future’ session.
If you want (or need) to redefine yourself and your future, this session will help you gain clarity and focus on what you really want. We’ll take a look at where you are and where you want to go. At the end, if it makes sense, we’ll see how we can best work together to accomplish your goals so you can start loving life again.